Yes, I have been very much lost in touch with the social world for more than a year. Things definitely been going ups and downs and way way down like a titanic ship hitting the iceberg for me. To summarize everything, I have upgraded from single to attached to married and now to a mother. All I have to say is going through the pregnancy alone is really like an emotional roller coaster for me. It’s my first time being pregnant (of course) and definitely not what have I expected (although I never really expect anything). Baby have been very very gentle to me for keeping my tummy hidden so well. Nobody knows I’m pregnant until the last trimester when i almost pop. However, during my 1st trimester was all hugging the toilet bowl and puke and laying down on the couch like a dead fish. (I kid you not!)

Labor on the other hand was pretty funny. It was exactly on my due date that I start to bleed. So, first thought, shower and wash hair before I go through the confinement. Then, went to the hospital and they decide to push me on a wheelchair. My first time sitting wheelchair. Hahahaha! I told them I can actually walk because I don’t feel any pain yet. Then, the gynae came and said my dilation was not very favorable hence, try to break my water bag. Crazy shit! It was so painful I asked him to stop. My water bag burst at 4am and I thought I peed and wet the bed. The midwife came and just put a maternity pad underneath me and left. WTH!?! At 6am, gynae came again and I was dilated for 4cm. 10am I’m only dilate for 5cm and gynae said it’s too slow, hence the drip. Once, the drip is there I felt the contraction pain so so much I just want to scream my heads out. Then, the gynae asked have I decide on the painkiller. I’m like nobody asked me about the painkiller!!! So, he asked the nurse to gave me a jab. I didn’t want to take epidural and hope that I can go through all the pain but it was really killing me. When I decided on the epidural I’m pretty much dilated 5-6cm, hence no point to waste the money. Having baby is not cheap! At 2pm, the pushing begin. I’m not mentally prepared for it but the midwife keeps asking me to prepare for what? So, I got no choice but to go through it. Gynae almost need to use vacuum and forcep to take the baby out, but I decided to give it another try and this time I shut off all noises and voices and just breath and do it myself. So finally, baby is out after 43minutes. Not the correct position, hence, a slight tore to be sew and baby is a bit blue. But everything is fine.

Confinement was also ups and down for me. Lotsa ups with lotsa food and rest. Downs is because have to wake up every 2 hours at night for feeding. Like alarm clock, ever 2 hours. Gosh! Even, when baby starts bottle feed, I need to wake up to pump. It’s a whole different world to me. Right after confinement, drove straight back to BM for Chinese New Year and for my mom’s help in taking care of baby. And because of this, Zac had been jealous of baby and hadn’t talk to my mom for 2 months, not to mention don’t even want to see my mom. Hahaha!

During the first 3 months, its every 2 hours feeding even at night and he cries every night until the whole neighborhood came and asked my mom what happen to him. How embarrassing. Anyhoo, things have been going smooth with my little man and now, he’s already a crawling caterpillar. I love him to bits! Nothing can ever replace the time I spent with him. Although there were some days when I just want to let him cry and not care but yea.......life.... So, here it is, my life been turning upside down for the one year period.

Apart from that, money and work have not been going well. Like I said, having a baby is expensive. I'm deciding to get back to my full time job once baby is ready to be sent to daycare centre. As for now, more consultation job, hopefully. *cross fingers*

As for now, I'm keeping my boy private for my own view. Hehehe! Hopefully I will be able to at least write once a month, or else I keeps on forgetting stuff. Mama's memory been playing hacks on me. =_=


Luv,
*rachelle*